The power of the on-screen keyboard compels you

That's it, it's not "typing" anymore. It's "invoking the keyboard." I will not budge on this. Put a circle of salt around your device of choice, it's time to invoke the keyboard about a variety of things have been occurring recently, as we stubbornly trudge toward the arse end of Summer (I hate this season with a burning passion - give me literally any other time of year or give me death.)

Starting with the endeavour to give some love to the front garden because for a while now, I've been at a bit of a loss for what to do with it. For a few weeks in Spring, it looks beautiful with the laburnum, lilac and bluebells in full swing - it's a delightful little fairytale patch of joy and colour during that time but once everything has done blooming, then it spends the rest of the year looking a bit shit.

Making a start, I picked up a gargoyle, naturally, and this colourful peacock spinner. The gargoyle looks a bit satanic, so we've just gone ahead and ran with it, Satan lives in the front garden now. Finally got round to trimming the lilac tree as well, starting on my mission to get it back into some kind of coherent shape after Storm Claudia tore a fair chunk of it off last year. Hopefully in a year or two, with careful trimming, it'll be back to looking lush and dense, rather than its current straggly/leggy state. I'm also looking into planting some bushes, ideally flowering things that might bring us some colour through Summer. If we can get year-round colour, then so much the better. Oh, and I'm planning on a wishing well planter with some bold floral displays in it because seriously, how adorable would that be?!

Onto booze now and it's been a while since there was last a beer tasting; admittedly I picked this one up in a burnt-out haze after work, so wasn't 100% paying attention, I just wanted some sushi, some beer, and to get home already. That said, I like a stout/smoked porter, Vietnamese coffee is also good, and Redwillow are a locally based brewery, right here in Macclesfield, with a previous record of making really good stout (their Smokeless is lush.) This Breakfast stout, though, is just not for me. Up front, it's dense and treacly, in the middle it's more balanced with a sweet-and-sour mix, then the rear end is really sour. Still, you don't know if you don't try - it was nowhere near as unpleasant at the time I wound up with an oyster stout by accident, so it's got that going for it.

On the books front, I had the bare displeasure of reading a couple of books by Alistair Moffat; I came to them with a desire to learn more about Celtic history and culture, and came away knowing more about this bloke's political piss-boilers and emotionally undercooked world view - another disappointed reader online described his approach as "sneering", and that is definitely accurate. And look, I'm all for giving people room to be human and imperfect, but when it comes to someone who's previously been rector of St. Andrew's University, then I'd expect significantly better in terms of emotional maturity, academic rigour and literary chops.

It's a shame because there are genuine moments of goodness in there, such as in 'The Sea Kingdoms', where he gives us a quick insight into the construction of Viking dreki, and how the pliable timber allowed the boats to remain watertight even while the wood was flexing quite dramatically, as well as highlighting some interesting threads of ancient maritime culture that survive in modern seafaring. Information like this is always a pleasure, but to get there, you have to dig through so much of his axe-grinding, it's just thankless to read. After a while, it feels like he's treating his audience as a sounding board, rather than offering us something that's written with intent to inform and inspire. Ironically, in a more recent book of his, 'Scotland's Forgotten Past', he states "Historians should try to remain objective"... yeah, that sound you can hear is the howling void where self-awareness should be. In this case, it is indeed a legitimate case of "Sack the editor!" material.

Thankfully, on the recommendation of another stranger in internet land, I checked out Alice Roberts' 'The Celts: Search for a Civilisation' which delivered a much more engaging and well-structured look at what we can gather of Celtic history and culture, focussing on archaeological evidence rather than romanticism. Her writing style is brisk and conversational, conveying information in an approachable fashion, and it's a pleasure to read.

I've also been on the lookout for more comedians lately, and stumbled upon Tamsyn Kelly's special, amazingly titled 'Hot Titty Bungalow'. I mean right from the jump, that is a bloody incredible title, but the show as a whole is a joy to listen to. Tamsyn has a really likeable stage presence and particular way with words, that intangible thing where someone's specific choice of phrasing makes something properly hilarious, she has that down to a fine art. Can attest, listening to comedy specials is a superb way to start the day.

Now to finish up, some more recent encounters. Getting the pictures off the phone is an exercise in frustration, I really do need to get back into the habit of taking Icaras out with me...

First of all, this shop in a part of town I haven't bothered with for a while. This place used to be something to do with motorbikes but now it appears to be something lightning-related. Maybe Zeus has gotten bored with Olympus and he's chillin' here, like someone just gets him on the blower and calls in a lightning strike on someone who's naffed them off. Granted, I could easily look it up and see what the sketch is, but I like the mystery!